Life got in the way

Someone asked me why I don’t do that something anymore and I replied with “life got in the way” and he laughed at me.

Not a usual kind of post today, I just wanted a little ramble.

I have been blogging for little over a year now, I try post often and I am very glad I have started. The other day I was going through old posts and thinking I should probably document more on my life to look back in the future but without being way too personal. This year got me thinking with its roller coaster-ness. I am an over thinker. I would think everything. Every possible outcomes and absolutely tire out something (or someone) by doing so. The notes on my iPhone is filled a lot with random thoughts. I even sometimes overthink the way someone texted a ‘hi’.  And today was one of them days where I overthought about life and people in our lives.

Before, I was not the best person to stay in contact with someone, or initiate a conversation with someone, I didn’t really put in a lot of effort with a lot of people, it was always the other way around and I always put work/workstuff before everything. I am not very proud of this. At the moment, I think I have improved with that and I tend to put in effort with people that I care for in my life (that has stuck with me through my blue eyeshadow and braces period.) and those people are the ones I am comfortable with. I do believe that some people are for life.

I also believe that for every stage of our life there are certain people for it that is meant to be there, but as we move on people in our life changes. This goes for friendships, girl/ boyfriends… A person whom I used to talk nearly everyday last year, I no longer talk to him as often as it usually slowly just fades. Not all breakups go smoothly and sometimes looking back just makes it feel not so great.  We all change, I am definitely not the same person I was a year ago.  (and it doesn’t help that I have a bit of a contradictory personality and always got different personality type on the Mayer Briggs test.. please tell me I am not alone)

It is quite weird to look back at the memories when those people aren’t in your life anymore and on rare occasions think that we may have took it for granted (Mainly relationship wise for me).

A year ago (or more) I had met someone, a fellow over thinker and we started talking like we had known each other for ages, we shared cocktails and talked about the world until midnight while over looking the Thames then mercury retrograded. In serious, it just fizzed away. Like it never happened. And this year, they’re no longer here. Life got in the way and I let it. I was upset at first but then realised that at that point in my life even it may have been the wrong timing, it was actually the right time. It could’ve been different, but then again I probably wouldn’t be where I am right now.

Life isn’t the same as year ago, six month ago or even a month ago. Funny how everything changes so quick. You never get over it, but you get to where is does not bother you so much

Cliche as it may sound. We can’t change the past but we can choose our future. I see some things in life as a lesson and I do believe that things happen for a reason. There is absolutely no point beating yourself, thinking “Maybe if I did that differently…” It won’t matter. We are meant to lose some people, move on, meet new people and experience a whole different experiences. Only lifelong relationship we have is with ourselves.

This was quite different to what I usually post but I just wanted a ramble.

Love, E

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